Welcome to Raw Roundup, where I watch Raw so you don’t have to.
This week’s show opened with an Authority promo, as is tradition. Triple H and Stephanie and Vinny Mac all come down to gloat about Trips winning the championship at the Royal Rumble. The whole promo just winds up being about Roman though, shocker. At the end of it, Stephanie says the Authority will be picking two superstars who impress them the most tonight to compete in the main event at Fastlane for a shot at Triple H at Wrestlemania.
Next Kevin Owens emerges, still selling his injuries from last night, and takes out all the anger in the world on Dolph Ziggler. Poor Dolph. The match is followed by a bland backstage Roman promo.
The Social Outcasts are in the ring, and long story short they put over Flo Rida (fucks sake) and The Dudley’s come out and dear God this segment was awful. The Dudley’s squash the Outcasts.
Next is a backstage interview with AJ Styles talking about his debut last night at the Rumble and hyping his match with Jericho next. It is absolutely bizarre and amazing to see AJ on WWE TV. Next was an absolute barn burner of match that had all of 2007 feeling light-headed. Styles worked face, and Jericho worked heel. I can’t write much to do this match justice but great googly moogly it was unreal. AJ rolls up Jericho for the three after teasing a Styles clash. Post-match, and intense hand shake/stare down hints that this feud will continue. Yes please.
Becky Lynch vs Sasha Banks follows up. The two have a short but great match before Charlotte interferes and the three of them throw handbags with Charlotte coming out on top. As long as this leads to a triple threat at Fastlane, I am on board with this.
Cut to backstage for a Goldust and R-Truth segment, teasing them as a tag team. Fantastic comedy booking, it was short but very well done.
Bray Wyatt jobs out Kane. Not much else to be said.
Now this next segment. God Damn.
The Rock pulls up backstage, asks the Miz to park his truck, and proceeds to pour out more charisma in two minutes than the entire roster has in the last year. It was amazing, and I can’t do it justice, please go watch it here.
The Rock makes his way to the ring and works the crowd like only he can. It is so unbelievable to see a crowd as hot for something as they were here. Given that the Rock name dropped Hogan, I doubt the WWE will publish this segment. Then The New Day interrupted him. The New Day and the Rock standing opposite each other and cutting promos. I’ve waited my whole life for this. It is amazing, it might be one of the best segments on Raw in years, please go watch it. Here is the WWE’s shortened version
This is where things get interesting. During this segment, where Rock cuts the most PG-14 promo in years, I tweeted this quick recap of the things the Rock said, and that tweet got picked up by nodq.com. And my phone decided to explode for the remainder of Raw.
Oh, and now Paige and Natalya vs Alicia Fox and Brie Bella. Way to kill the mood. Paige wins and we move on with our lives.
Oh, Kalisto vs The Miz. Kalisto wins and we move on with our lives.
Now the main event, Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose vs Rusev and Sheamus. And all of a sudden, it was if a million viewers suddenly changed the channel. It was a boring, nothing match where surprise surprise, Roman gets the win. Stephanie then announces that the Number 1 contender match at Fastlane will be a triple threat between Ambrose, Reigns, and Lesnar. Wait hold on. So the Authority is giving a Number 1 contender opportunity to Reigns, the guy they’ve been feuding with and trying to keep the belt away from? Fucking genius. Oh, and Lesnar is involved despite not even showing up tonight.
Overall, if you ignore the WWE World Title picture, this was a fantastic Raw, one of the best in a while. What were your thoughts on it? Let me know in the comments!