Monster Hunter’s Top 8 Weirdest Monsters

Monster Hunter is a weird series.  Weird in this case can also be a synonym for Japanese.  12 games in, Monster Hunter still continuously comes up with tons of new and interesting beasts to hunt.  Being as Japanese as it is, some of those monsters are bound to be weird as fuck.  Here are the top 8 weirdest Monster Hunter Monsters.

8. Kirin


The Kirin is a unicorn.  The game can claim as much as it wants that the Kirin is something else, but it’s a goddamn unicorn.  Unicorns have long been a symbol of beauty and peace, and now you’re going to go kill that you sociopath!  Kirin’s are in fact, Unicorn’s on steroids that have no problem fucking you up royally.

7. Gypceros


Thy Gypceros is like a giant rubber chicken.  That’s basically it.  It’s a giant rubber chicken that flails around and acts stupid.  It also likes to steal your shit.  It’s all very dumb, seriously look at this motherfucker.

6. Brachydios


The Brachydios is this big looking dude with a very interesting ability.  You see, when the Brachydios punches the ground, it makes explosions.  That is correct.  This monster blows stuff up by touching it.  It’s like a hardcore version of King Midas.  Makes you wonder how Brachydios’ touch their loved ones or eat or wank.

5. Dire Miralis


The Dire Miralis is a fire dragon that lives underwater.  Just try and piece that together.  Yes the Dire Miralis is apparently made entirely of lava or some shit, so its body is constantly so hot that it has to live in water, otherwise it’ll overheat and die.  The fuck?  Make sure you don’t touch it, it’s bound to leave some burns.

4. Mizutsune


The newest monster on this list is also one of the weirdest.  The Mizutsune is a dragon that looks like a flower that is basically made of soap.  Its weird flower-like body constantly produces bubbles and soap which slows down prey and hunters alike.  It’s a weirdly effective ability to have.

3. Uragaan


The Uragaan lands on this list for one joke.  The Uragaan is Jay Leno.  LOOK AT THAT CHIN.  Yep, the Uragaan has a massive chin that it crushes shit with, much like Jay Leno in real life.  The status of the Uragaan’s car collection and terrible TV show are currently unknown.

2. Yama Tsukami


Now for a monster straight out of anime.  The Yama Tsukami is a “dragon”, but really it’s more of a floating island.  The Tsukami is really shaped like an octopus and is covered in trees and shit.  It seems to just float around and not concern itself with the troubles of mere mortals.  It’s an interesting point to see how Capcom they got from normal monsters to a floating continent that’s a dragon and eats cities for fun.

1. King Shakalaka


Here it is, the weirdest thing Monster Hunter has done to date.  King Shakalaka are the kings of the Shakalaka, which are strange little forest creatures.  The kings wear barbeque spits on their heads and hit hunters with bones and such.  The Kings are weird little fuckers and now that I think about it, isn’t hunting them just committing regicide?

Those are our picks for Monster Hunter’s weirdest monsters.  What are your picks for the most ridiculous creatures?  Leave ‘me in the comments.


Justin should probably be in class right now. @JerstinRob

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