The Top 8 Worst James Bond Movies

Even the world’s most legendary gentleman spy makes mistakes.  These movies are some of them.

8.  Quantum of Solace

 

While Daniel Craig is one of the best Bond’s, even he is not immune to a shitty bond flick.  Craig’s sophomore outing as 007 was not the same rousing success as his first.  The inherent problem with Quantum of Solace is that it stripped away almost everything that made James Bond great, and became a bland action movie.  As an action movie, it’s fine.  If they dropped 007 from it and cast Clive Owens in the lead it would have been an enjoyable but forgettable action flick.  Daniel Craig is still great, but Quantum of Solace fails at the fundamentals of a good Bond movie, and that lands it on this list.

 

Wow what a scary looking bad guy
Wow what a scary looking bad guy

 

7.  Live and Let Die

 

Fair fucks to this movie, it has one of the most iconic themes in all of the Bond series.  That’s about the only good thing about Live and Let Die.  Like most of Roger Moore’s Bond films, Live and Let Die are nothing but corny and goofy 1970’s bullshit mixed in with a little bit of casual racism.  Live and Let Die also introduced Sherriff Pepper, who is one of the worst characters in the history of film.  Live and Let Die is just a movie about a cultured British gentleman interacting with southern American savages.  It’s a bad dynamic accentuated with pure racism.  This movie is absolute trash, and should be forgotten.

 

Oh so're just going to ignore this, right?
Oh so’re just going to ignore this, right?

 

6.  The World Is Not Enough

 

The World Is Not Enough is almost a carbon copy of a Roger Moore Bond film, but made in 1999.  With a villain that in hindsight seems like a SNL parody of Anderson Cooper, and a stupid plot, even by Bond standards this film is a dark mark on the series.  Hagrid is a Russian mob boss, Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife is the Bond girl, it’s all just awful.  It’s not the worst Bond movie Pierce Brosnan made (more on that below) but it serves as a great indicator of how shitty movies were in general during the late 1990’s.

 

You're a spy Harry
You’re a spy Harry

 

5.  View To A Kill

 

View To A Kill was Roger Moore’s final offering to the Bond franchise, and one of his worst.  Coming out in 1985, it can almost be a case study for shitty 1980’s movies.  The primary focus of the film is how computers are scary and evil, because it was made in the 80’s by old men.  Christopher Walken plays the film’s villain and in the process gives possibly the worst performance of his entire career.  It’s almost not even Walken’s fault since his character is painfully one dimensional and boring.  Roger Moore phones it in for the entire movie and isn’t even believable as Bond anymore since he was old as fuck at this point.

 

The look of a man who just cashed the paycheck for this shitty film
The look of a man who just cashed the paycheck for this shitty film

 

4.  License To Kill

 

A lot of people forget that Timothy Dalton ever played James Bond, and that’s pretty fair.  His other film, The Living Daylights, is just unremarkable in every way.  License to Kill however, is awful.  Taking place primarily in the southern United States which historically has made for terrible Bond movies (remember Live and Let Die?).  The movie is about Bond taking down a Cuban drug lord.  The story has much lower stakes than usual Bond storylines and tries to play the “renegade Bond” card that works great in Daniel Craig films, not so much here though.  Overall it’s a film worth being forgotten, as it temporarily killed the series until Goldeneye.

 

Literally the bad guy from 2 Fast 2 Furious
Literally the bad guy from 2 Fast 2 Furious

 

3.  Die Another Day

 

Everyone knew this movie was going to be on the list.  The absolute pinnacle of shitty early 2000’s movies, this film was the absolute lowest point of Peirce Brosnan’s tenure as 007.  Where to start with this one…  How about Halle Berry?  She is the worst Bond girl in history, no questions. Don’t try to argue it, you’re wrong.  Pierce Brosnan is phoning in his entire performance, and when it comes to the story… what the fuck.  A North Korean general gets surgery to become a British guy and uses diamonds to make an Austin Powers space laser.  Fuck right off with this whole movie.

 

Worst Bond Girl ever
Worst Bond Girl ever

 

2. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

 

This one is a gimmie.  George Lazenby’s only outing as 007 has become rather infamous to Bond fans.  The film was already at a disadvantage as Sean Connery was an almost impossible act to follow, and fans would have rejected any actor who tried to play 007 after him.  It didn’t help that Lazenby was pretty shit as well.  The film features Blofeld returning as the villain but now he’s young?  Yea this casting can’t be defended.  Blofeld is now a young man and has a needlessly complex plan to kill a bunch of people with chemical weapons.  It’s all quite bad.  The part of the movie that draws the most hate however is the part where Bond gets married.  James Fucking Bond gets married.  This is literally the exact opposite of every character note ever written for 007.  Almost as if the filmmakers realised their mistake while still shooting the movie, they kill off his wife immediately.  For fucks sake, what a mess.

 

Yea he was like 70 in the last movie
Yea he was like 70 in the last movie

 

1.  Moonraker

 

Some people might be surprised at this being number 1, but there shouldn’t be any doubt.  This movie is where 007 jumped the shark.  The first production meeting for this film must have gone like this: “What if it was James Bond in space with lasers?”  It’s nothing but 1970’s cornball fuckery.  Bond goes to space to stop a shitty villain from firing a giant laser on the moon (Austin Powers stays very close to its source material) and in the process shoots comedy lasers at bad guys and fucks a girl in zero gravity.  It has really become a movie that’s so bad it’s great.  Unlike about all the movies on this list, Moonraker is absolutely worth a watch just to have a laugh.

 

Roger Moore only came to set because he plowing all those girls
Roger Moore only came to set because he plowing all those girls

 

So what are your least favorite Bond flicks?  Sound off in the comments.

Justin

Justin should probably be in class right now. @JerstinRob

One thought on “The Top 8 Worst James Bond Movies

  • 02/22/2016 at 7:49 pm
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    Why do you have to swear so much. Potty mouth…..

    Reply

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