Worst Of The Year Awards 2016

Let’s admit it, even without killing all the famous people we liked and electing Donald Trump, 2016 was still pretty shitty.  So let’s take a look back at the year, and hand out some steaming shit awards to some of this year’s worst offerings.  Much like our best of the year awards, these are based on things we watched/played, and not limited to stuff that appeared on the site.  As well, awards for “worst” something more relate to something that was supposed to be good.  Your little brother’s youtube movie isn’t going to win “Worst Movie”.  So lets get to it.

 

Worst Movie

Winner: Batman V Superman Dawn of Justice

Fuck this movie.  Batman V Superman took what should’ve been a fairly simple concept and twisted it into some of the worst shit I’ve seen in years.  From the gray on black on gray aesthetic to the plot so lazy and predictable a 9-year old could have written it, nothing was good or right about this movie.  Worse than just sucking, it killed any interest I had in seeing a DC Cinematic Universe.

“I thought it was good” – This twat

Runner Up: Warcraft

 

Worst TV Show

Winner: Monday Night Raw

This is a cheap one, but yeah Raw has been pretty fucking terrible for the better part of the last year and a half.  There’s a reason I stopped doing Raw Roundup in March, because honestly I just started to hate the show.  Go watch Smackdown, it’s absurdly better.

This is what it feels like to sit through 3 hours of Raw

Runner Up: Luke Cage

 

Worst Wrestling PPV

Winner: WrestleMania 32

Hoo boy, there aren’t a lot of words to sum up how disappointed I was by WrestleMania 32.  Apparently the biggest Mania ever, it dragged on for about 7 fucking hours, and only had a couple decent matches.  Most of what we got was boring filler, an excruciating Rock appearance, and perhaps the worst Mania main event ever.  What makes this even worse, is that the show could’ve been amazing if Vince listened to the fans.

BOOOOOOOOOOOO

Runner Up: Fastlane

 

“Lying To Your Customers” Award

Winner: No Man’s Sky

I’m going to rename this the Sean Murray Memorial Award next year.  Has there ever been a bigger case of just fucking lying to your fans than No Man’s Sky?  Peter Molyneux  comes close, but Sean Murray is in a league of his own.  After hyping up No Man’s Sky for years, the finished game released with less than half of the features promised and shown in E3 demos and press releases.  Cheers.

Not pictured: anything in the game

Runner Up: Mighty No. 9

 

“Wasn’t Worth The Wait” Award

Winner: The Last Guardian

Do I even need to say it?  Gamers waited 8 years for The Last Guardian, a game that looks pretty, but runs like shit and plays like a drunk raccoon.  Better luck next time Team Ico

Looks great at 10fps

Runner Up: Duke Nukem Forever (It will always be Duke Nukem Forever)

 

Worst Gaming Podcast

Winner: Skip To The Show

Stay humble.

 

“Why Did You Even Bother?” Award

Winner: Suicide Squad

Bleh.  Suicide Squad was a mess of a film cobbled together with hack cliches and misplaced nuance.  With the interest in the DC Cinematic Universe firmly squashed, why bother with this movie about a bunch of B-List villains?  Other than money.

Merry band of Jobbers

Runner Up: Star Fox Zero

Anti-Game of the Year

Winner: Ghostbusters

This didn’t get a review on the site, mostly because none of us wanted to touch this garbage heap.  It controls like shit, looks ugly, and is so repetitive I’d rather hit my head against a wall for a few hours than play it.  For a game that has such rich source material to pull from, it’s astounding that Ghostbusters is so completely devoid of substance.  Fuck this game in it’s stupid face.

There’s no joke here. This game is the worst.

Runner Up: Mighty No. 9

 

So that’s how we saw this year’s bullshit?  What were some of 2016’s worst according to you?  Leave them in the comments.

Justin

Justin should probably be in class right now. @JerstinRob

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